Bill rambles about McDonald’s beat down, divorce laws and Christmas gifts.
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Monday Morning Podcast 12-26-11
December 26, 2011
58 comments
Bill’s Monday Morning Podcast
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December 26, 2011 at 5:15 pm, Zane said:
Brilliant. What a way to close out the year.
December 26, 2011 at 5:54 pm, brandon fields said:
WITHOUT QUESTION THE ” GRAND DRAGON ” OF MMP’S!!! IGNITED A LAUGH ATTACK THAT SET OFF MY ARTHRITIS IN MY LOWER BACK…JUST WISH YOU’D TAKE THE ADVICE PORTION DOWN A NOTCH. DILEMMAS??? IF THEY WERE ABLE TO COME BACK TO LIFE FOR ONE DAY A MONTH TO VISIT YA WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A ~ SRV GIVE YA GUITAR LESSONS OR B ~ BONHAM GIVE YA DRUM LESSONS???
December 26, 2011 at 5:54 pm, Lyle said:
We call that shit re-bar, not a lead pipe. But fuckin’ greatness, Billy.
December 26, 2011 at 6:12 pm, Marc said:
Amazingly hillarious. It’s like having Bill live in your car!
December 26, 2011 at 6:31 pm, Feral said:
Bill! You were amazing today!! I listen to all of your podcasts, and this one was the best yet!
GFYS!
December 26, 2011 at 7:26 pm, Shimmy said:
I jerk off to pictures of dogs
December 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm, Kulio said:
Hey Bill, on the subject of ethnicity/culture, what part of Africa does Nia hail from?
December 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm, Zed said:
Definitely the best one of the year! Great job, Bill. I was laughing my ass off throughout the whole thing!!
December 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm, Andrew said:
“What’s it gonna say on your tombstone? sucked the right dick?!”
December 26, 2011 at 10:14 pm, andrew said:
WTF HAS HAPPENED!?!?!? I USED TO LISTEN TO THIS AWESOME SHIT EVERY WEEK! NOW NO MATTER WHAT I DO I CANNOT STREAM IT TO MY COMPUTER!?!?! WTF HAS HAPPENED TO THIS SITE!
Sorry but in all seriousness I am having extreme difficulty subscribing i haven’t been able too since mid November. Given i am playing it on winamp cause itunes is gay like everything from apple is especially that turtlenecked fag steve jobs. But manually adding the URL into the winamp manual subscriptions tab doesn’t seem to be working any more ever since the site changed. Can somebody please help me? Suggestions? Anything? Let me know. thanks!
Email me pbsolaris62788@gmail.com thanks!
December 26, 2011 at 11:51 pm, kevin said:
Mc-OUCH!!!!
December 27, 2011 at 1:25 am, brandon fields said:
ATTENTION ” andrew pbsolaris62788@gmail.com ” YOU ARE A FRAGILE BROKEN WASTE OF BILL BURR’S TIME…SOOO SAD. AS OF THIS MOMENT MR. BURR IS 99.9999999999999999% AFTER READING YOUR COMMENT THINKING TO HIMSELF TO ” GO F@#K YOURSELF ” . WHY??? CAUSE YOU’VE MORE THAN LIKELY BEEN HANDED EVERYTHING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. WAKE THE F@#K UP & FIGURE IT OUT CAUSE BELIEVE IT OR NOT, LIFE IS GONNA GET MUCH WORSE FOR YA.
January 02, 2012 at 2:26 am, Frank Hotdog said:
> Hey Brandon, why don’t you take Bill’s cock out of your mouth and let him speak for himself. You’re speaking for him like you know him, you fucking dildo.
January 02, 2012 at 2:26 pm, brandon fields said:
> fair enough…i just happened to come from the ” school of life ” where if its FREE, you never ever question it.
January 02, 2012 at 8:21 pm, frank hotdog said:
> That’s why no one ever questions your mother’s blowjobs, you uppity cunt.
January 02, 2012 at 9:46 pm, brandon fields said:
>sweets, you have the creativity of a f@#kin’ corpse. playing the ” mom ” hand…really??? i mean…REALLY??? god forbid ya dig a ditch that isn’t already dug.
January 03, 2012 at 8:54 am, frank hotdog said:
> Maybe I should act like a comedian’s bitch like you do, to bring some depth to the discussion, Brandon. You obviously come from the ‘School of Life’ that teaches its boys to police etiquette and all around good manners on a comedian’s fucking website. Get a life you fucking tool. Go to the ‘What Not To Wear’ boards and critique the shit out of other prissy fucks like yourself, instead of hassle people here. Do you think that Bill Burr needs a fucking douche like you answering people’s comments? Get your own page up, invite all of your piece of shit Dungeons and Dragons friends to get on, and you guys can discuss what a social titan that you became in your ‘School of Life’. Go fuck yourself, you fucking retard.
December 27, 2011 at 4:29 am, Slimjim said:
Not sure where you suppose to submit dilemmas, but i guess here is good as any.
a free shot to the face by Mike Tyson,
or a kick to the nuts by Bruce Lee
or
catch your wife/girlfriend in the act of sex with someone,
or you be caught by your wife/girlfriend having sex with someone.
January 03, 2012 at 6:20 pm, Levi said:
> That last one’s been done
December 27, 2011 at 4:46 am, Gill said:
Is “Playing Tennis” code for ATM?
December 27, 2011 at 4:57 am, Gill said:
> One of the best Podcast U have done!
December 27, 2011 at 6:59 am, Randy McFearless said:
> The Feed has changed. Just copy the new one into the Winamp thing.
December 27, 2011 at 8:33 am, Kevin said:
A dude writes Bill and says he doesn’t like “side boob” WTF! He’s got to be gay. no?
December 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm, Don Pasqueda said:
Oh Je-sus, Bill. German and Irish people all over the U.S. (many between the coasts) grow, eat, and “can” fruits and vegetables. It’s called farming and gardening! C’mon now…
December 27, 2011 at 4:18 pm, mike said:
Bill,
real life Santa and flying reindeer
http://youtu.be/MkCS9ePWuLU
December 27, 2011 at 5:22 pm, scooby666 said:
Sounds like these chicks need some replacement McRibs.
December 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm, Donna said:
Dec 27th 5:27pm ESPN…Little Caesars Bowl. There’s a chick doing play by play. Teehee I can hear Bill going off……
December 27, 2011 at 8:05 pm, Steve said:
Where’s that Amazon linkcode you mentioned in the podcast?
December 27, 2011 at 9:43 pm, Sharafat said:
The best one yet.
December 27, 2011 at 10:49 pm, brian said:
where the hell is the youtube video of the mc donalds you cunt!?
December 28, 2011 at 12:12 am, Tim said:
Am I the only one that is turned on by William’s flaming red hair? I wonder if the _____ matches the drapes if you know what I mean. *wink*
December 28, 2011 at 12:21 am, Hel said:
I buy waaay to much shit off Amazon. I’ll make sure to click on the link from this page from now on.
December 28, 2011 at 12:32 am, Tim said:
It’s nice that he’s giving 10% to the wounded warriors, but why not 20%? #findingreasonstocomplain
December 28, 2011 at 5:07 am, Clinton said:
Whenever he said ancestry, I thought he said incestry… For a second, I was trying to imagine how that was overrated.
December 29, 2011 at 10:29 am, Louis Gubitosi said:
McDonalds Fight in New York – The Burger Basher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvSrg6ytjVo
December 29, 2011 at 11:28 am, William Jones said:
BAM.. BAM.. BAM.. STOP IIIIIIT! STOP IIIIIT! STOP IIIIIT! BAM.. BAM.. BAM.. Haha, thanks for all the laughs Bill.
December 30, 2011 at 7:05 am, Nils said:
Well I don’t think you have been fair to whatsherface Bryant. Let’s wait till she gets remarried, if that dude then also makes hundreds of millions (her money doesn’t count) it must be because of her exceptional support.
December 31, 2011 at 2:54 am, LloyD said:
Damn that was funny. Thanks for all the laughs in 2011.
January 01, 2012 at 10:16 pm, linda said:
hey bill , i love your podcast and been listening to you for a long time now. but dont you think that bit on kobe’s wife was just a wee wee bit to much,huh? i mean maybe thats what kobe wanted ! ya know what i mean? if you were divorcing nia lets say, wouldn’t you want to make sure she was takin care of. whose to say they arent still good friends and decided their feelings were mutual.
January 02, 2012 at 4:33 am, Shitcock said:
Oh you nasty troll you.
January 02, 2012 at 10:43 am, Kevin said:
You’re kidding, right?
January 02, 2012 at 3:06 pm, Don said:
> Oooooohhhhhhhh jjjjeeeeeeeesssssuuuuuussssss
January 02, 2012 at 11:10 pm, Zane said:
> Honestly, who gives a shit if she has 190 million dollars. Kobe still has fucktons of money, and he knew what he was getting into without a prenup. He’s an idiot. It sort of surprises me Burr can feel aggrieved on behalf of multi-millionaires.
The wife is evil because she waited 10 years, which is when community property laws kick in in the state of California. So even she blows through that entire fortune, as long as she does not marry, Kobe has to keep paying.
January 02, 2012 at 2:28 am, Frank Hotdog said:
This was my favorite of the MMPodcasts. I laughed like I was fucking stoned. Good job.
January 02, 2012 at 7:20 pm, Antonio said:
Are none of you chicks out there answering Bill’s question?
I was hoping for one of you “creatures with a vagina” to help us out here a little. I’m dying to hear the full explanation of why Kobe’s ex deserves the 190 millions too!
January 03, 2012 at 12:05 am, senjan said:
Nia is entitled to at least 1/2 of Bill’s money. There’s no way he could have succeeded without her. If she ever leaves him, she should get 1/2 of whatever he makes through perpetuity. A no brainer. He wouldn’t even be funny without her. And yes, I’m a woman.
January 03, 2012 at 2:26 pm, senjen said:
When Bill gets paid, the checks should go to Nia, so she can fairly split it up.
January 03, 2012 at 12:16 am, Donna said:
You try sucking cock and balls. Women deserve 75% !!
January 03, 2012 at 12:33 am, Jason said:
Oh come on. Of course Bill would be successful without Nia, she wasn’t driving him to all those open mics for years perfecting his craft. She’s also never thrown him any movie, tv, or radio roles. Clearly a stay at home spouse does sacrifice job advancement and does help but to say it’s at least 50% is ridiculous. Having said that though, my favorite mm podcasts are when it’s Bill and Nia. If she wants that 50% she should be on the show more. She’s hilarious.>
January 03, 2012 at 9:06 am, Antonio said:
> Wait, 75what?!? Yeah, let’s go into negotiations first, please?!
I say 20% for sucking your man’s pole. And it has to be for a minimum period of 5 years for the loophole seeking cunts out there. Then after that, every nut adds another 20%.
I can’t get around that one. That’s true love right there
And Nia is a sweetheart, but come on… she’s gonna take Bill’s Prius.
January 03, 2012 at 10:33 am, kevin said:
bill and nia arent married
and this money issue is likely why
January 03, 2012 at 4:07 pm, Jason said:
Exactly. Marriage is a broken and stupid institution. I don’t know why you would get married if you don’t have kids. It makes sense with kids because then your lives are about the children. Otherwise don’t get married. Not getting married makes sure both people in the relationship don’t become assholes as the other can just leave. When you get married it’s too easy to not give a shit because it’s a pain in the ass to get divorced and this leads to either shitty relationships where both are miserable and the woman and/or man might cheat or a painful divorce that gives money unnecessarily to expensive parasitic lawyers.>
January 03, 2012 at 4:53 pm, bernie said:
If Bill truly loved Nia he’s deposit 1/2 of his money into her account, prorating back to their first date. Just saying.
January 04, 2012 at 9:46 pm, craigrattlehead said:
I dont believe for a second that we get our moral code from religion we are born with a moral code, some are damage mentally, and go out and kill innocent people sadly, but even an ape has a moral code. think about those religious folk blowing themselves up, compared to those that dont have religion in there life. We do not need man made belief’s to control us. The bible was trying to do that, by using fear.
January 06, 2012 at 10:23 am, Chris Florence said:
You just got yourself a fan for life. You support Wounded Warriors which is awesome. I happen to be a disabled Vet and a comedian in Austin. I got all my limbs and shit, but you know. I ran into you once out in LA at the Comedy Store right after you cut your hair short, pretty cool dude, if I must say so myself. I know you’re coming to town this month (January) would love to see ya. The Paramount is such a tight squeeze into those seats. Hope to see you out and about as I’m sure you know, Austin is a fun town.
January 09, 2012 at 7:10 pm, reddoor said:
Why are you asking women to justify a law that entitles someone to millions of dollars they didn’t earn – ask a banker.
February 05, 2012 at 10:59 am, Niketan said:
This is why we — all of us huamns, not simply progressives — must stand up for each other. As a gay man, I have stood up for women – straight and gay — when male chauvinism makes gay males louts. As a white man, I HAVE opened my mouth when I see the shit you mention to persons of color. I’m glad I stumbled by your blog. Your speechlessness is understood. When I’m next in DC I’ll make a point to drop by the Hampton Inn and tell them why I’m NOT staying there. It’s gotta be like that — money rules — before “enlightenment” happens.-We’re all in this together
February 07, 2012 at 3:20 am, ybhzxtzh said:
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