Before this Bio begins, I would like to say “What’s up!” to all the morning DJs glancing at this page as I sit across from you, pretending to be down to Earth.
I am a stand up comedian. It’s very important to me. One of my goals in life is to be able to go to the movies whenever the fuck I want to. I don’t want some douche telling me when I can go to lunch or even worse, when I have to be back. “I’ll be back when I’m done eating, you hypothetical cunt.”
I enjoy annoying people who are doing things that I feel aren’t that important. I relate to dictators. I don’t agree with what they do. But I get it.
I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
I’ve done two hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This” and “Let It Go.” I plan on taping another special at the beginning of 2012.
I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. This past year I was lucky enough to be in two episodes of Breaking Bad. I hope to get a chance to do more work like that in the future.
That’s it. Go fuck yourself.